青 豆 角

Colours of Winter

I woke up at 10:00 to a bright sky. I forgot the curtains last night.

After eight hours’ sleep, I still felt exhausted by the five-day holiday to my father's hometown. 

At 10:30 on this twenty-eighth day of December I decided to look for winter that seemed to have lost its way to this disturbed city. Or, the city was at a loss.

While stuffing myself with a lousy breakfast at the McDonald’s, photos of autumn leaves popped up from the junk messages on my phone. Red maple and yellow ginkgo leaves they were, beautiful of course. Yeah, friends had been talking about the huge crowds of people gathering around the strips of maple trees with their red leaves last year. The scene was on the television too; not this year though. Well, I could do that, to look for the red leaves and the long waited winter.

A Journal of A Walk

10:45

Saturday

22.2.2019

Walking in a popular path of the countryside gave me a sense of security,

though it might be false.

It was a dull morning after a rainy day that probably put people off,

so the trail was quiet.

Fallen trees

What is it like starting a vacation after your boss cautioned you to mind the outstanding tasks in the last morning running up to the holiday? I had my answer years ago. Many would exclaim that the answer is illogical and irrational. Well, you are quite right, but work, fulfilling or not, can be a substance of addiction. Dependence on it is beyond common reasoning. 

Recently, I am confronted with another question – how do you spend a vacation in town but away from the packed shopping malls? This is a difficult one and I think it is a forerunner of the challenges ahead when vacation becomes synonymous with retirement, which is for some people a contemporary equivalence of waiting-to-see-God. So far, I am still searching for an answer. 

One Ordinary Day

The annual appreciation ceremony finally finished at 5:15pm, and my assigned duty was accomplished. Though I was not interested in networking, I hanged around for a while.

“Oh yes! You are from mm… XXX. I know that. Great!” 

“Bollocks! What’s your second line?” I wondered why he just repeated the words on the card clipped to my shirt.

His make-up grin continued, but his eyes drifted away as I failed to give a reflexive response to his ambush - I only gave him an uneasy smile. He roamed away, and I nodded to mimic politeness. I guessed we could have a chat if the encounter was extended to full 5 seconds. Well, that suited me perfectly.

38 days

Several years ago when I told my friends I wanted to quit, most of them did not believe I was serious. Some thought I was seeking attention. A few closer ones acknowledged my intention but asked me to work out a retirement plan before I leave the resignation letter on the boss’ desk. Of course, I didn’t have one and still haven’t got one yet. They reassured me that my job wasn’t bad; I only needed to look after myself and find time to have fun. These were excellent advice, I thought, but where did I find that sort of time. Honestly, I may not know how to use it even if it were found.

Making Connection

I don’t like walking the beach but the seafront;

I can’t swim but take pleasure in soaking my feet in the waves;

I ‘m not interested in sea cruises but enjoy watching the churning white water at the tail of a sailing ship.

Why? That must be to do with my genes passing down from my ancestral origin. I believe the sea is where we came from and so did other living creatures. It is the beginning and possibly the final destination. Having such a belief, I am amazed why I never succeed in learning to swim. As a consolation, I do acquire the skills to dive, just deep sea diving without surfacing though.

On the third day afternoon of this Lunar New Year, I took the liberty to have a lazy stroll along the nearby seafront, to break away from the daily demands of living. It was still unusually cold but I made the correct decision as there were few people as crazy as I were and most of the businesses were still closed.